The spy aunties in our lives

Rina aunty, aka the gossip queen, aka the BBC of Kanta's neighbourhood, has just woken up from her sweet slumber. The moment she wakes up is the moment she starts to sniff out gossip.

She is the ultimate spy, even Sherlock Holmes or Hercule Poirot would be ashamed of their detective skills after meeting her.

The way ants smell out sugar, Rina aunty smells out gossip. Her power of detecting gossip is so strong that if a gossip is floating nearby, she will go fish it out.

She sneaks open her main door and silently steps out like a cat to find the day's first breaking news. Only then will she be able to digest her breakfast.

Yesterday morning at around 8am, she saw Kanta talking to a boy near the building's staircase. She kept thinking, what made Kanta talk to a member of the opposite gender outside her house? Was there anything fishy going on between Kanta and that boy?

She keeps her door open and her ears sharp to hear some updates, but nothing 'special' happens. Neither does Kanta's mother scream with the cleaner, nor does Kanta's father sing in the shower. She tries to bend down as much she can but alas! no sound.

The gossip queen was all of a sudden feeling very helpless without hearing any gossip. Gossip less days are dull and meaningless for her. Without gossips, she feels dizzy, suffocated and somehow unloved.

She decides to go downstairs to Mohini's place to poke her and see if she can find anything. Mohini opens her door but as soon as Rina aunty utters the three magic words to her "have a baby", Mohini just smiles and says nothing. Gossip aunty feels a boiling rage engulfing her but she still does not lose hope.

She goes on, "Your sisters Mitu and Munni are not married yet, right? Was not Mitu supposed to get married by this year? Is there any health complication? Tell Munni to put off some weight and Mitu to put on some. Do not mind, please. You guys are like my daughters so I am a concerned."

Rina knew that her gossips give her access to visit from every floor in every building of the colony.

While her thoughts go wild, a faint noise from the nearby building startles Rina aunty. She eavesdrops that Mr. Khan is talking about buying an Audi! She immediately starts to calculate Khan's monthly, bi-monthly, quarterly and annual income.   

Can he actually afford something that expensive? Is he doing anything illegal? She tries to hear some more but cannot. Still, she decides to passes it on her fellow bhabis and apas.

She remembers Jishan's mother Farhana, the only other person who can bear her gossip torch. She rushes to Farhana's house and upon seeing her, lets out a happy shriek, "Did you know what I just heard?"