How to handle a female bully in the workplace

Illustration: TBS

Harassment comes in all shapes and forms, and according to international regulations and local laws, harassment is generally defined as creating an atmosphere that makes someone feel uncomfortable. This discomfort could be due to the person feeling offended, intimidated, or humiliated. It is known that women worldwide are disproportionately affected by gender-based violence, including sexual harassment and assault at work. 

Millions of female workers are forced and threatened to work in intimidating, hostile, or humiliating environments and experience various unwelcome forms of sexual conduct. Women are asked for sexual favours and exposed to inappropriate jokes, insinuations, and comments, as well as unwanted physical contact that can amount to assault.

From a sexist joke to physical assault and psychological abuse, harassment and violence in the workplace are realities that millions of women worldwide constantly deal with. While men can also experience workplace violence and harassment, the patriarchal cultural system and resulting stereotypes and power inequalities often make women more vulnerable to such abuses. 

Despite its widespread occurrence, sexual harassment at work remains underreported by women due to fears of not being believed, facing blame, experiencing social or professional retaliation, civil or criminal charges, or damage to their reputation. When examining the available data, it becomes somewhat obvious that male counterparts are responsible for most harassment cases. But what are the consequences when women are the ones bullying and harassing other women at work?

Sometimes the transition from a trustworthy professional to an absolute nightmare is clear. Other times, bullies hide in plain sight, appearing quite nice. They may seem polite, mild-mannered, and weak as long as circumstances demand. 

However, the moment they acquire power, whether through authority or by joining a group of like-minded individuals, their demeanour changes. They no longer feel the need to be nice and instead vent their weakness, fear, frustration, resentment, and hurt on those who are less powerful and less aggressive than they are. This transformation might occur when they become part of a group or a clique or when they ascend to middle management through favouritism, rather than merit or intelligence.

How can bullying be detected? It might be harassment or bullying if someone verbally abuses a woman or asks invasive personal questions, such as those related to disability, age, physical attributes, or religion. 

If a woman puts up posters or spreads rumours that make another woman uncomfortable, engages in rude physical gestures or facial expressions towards them, or tells sexually explicit jokes or offensive comments, stalks someone on social media to gather personal information and later gossips about it, as well as badmouths other women to the boss to secure one's own position with poor management tactics or political manoeuvring - all of these are also examples of bullying.

Bullying among women in the workplace is a topic that has received significant attention in research and discussions about workplace dynamics. Women bullying other women is prevalent worldwide, but it is particularly common in South Asian regions. In these areas, women are emotionally repressed and pressured to overlook complex issues, which then spill into the workplace due to their personal repression.

To understand the "why" and "how" of bullying, researchers have arrived at the following conclusions:

Relational aggression

Women may engage in relational aggression, using social manipulation, gossip, rumours, and exclusionary tactics to harm others' social standing and reputation. This trait is observed more in women due to generational constraints in lower-income countries like Bangladesh. The culture encourages them to focus on personal information about other women but does not promote the concept of healthy competition.

Undermining Competitiveness

In competitive work environments, some women may feel threatened by the success and achievements of others, leading to bullying behaviours aimed at undermining their colleagues' accomplishments. In non-competitive work environments, the lack of involvement in high-level strategic work provides ample time for negative feelings and thoughts to develop, which then spill into the workplace.

Passive-Aggressive Behaviour
This trait is common but often hard to detect. It includes subtly hurtful actions like giving backhanded compliments, ignoring or withholding information, and displaying microaggressions. A common identifying characteristic is constantly bringing up irrelevant matters in public spaces to harass or bully another female employee.

Cliques and Exclusion
Forming exclusive groups or cliques at work can result in the exclusion and ostracism of other women, making them feel isolated and left out. While not overtly harmful, this behaviour can spill over into other aspects of work, preventing victims from accessing organisational information or important tasks. Bullies use this tactic to keep victims stuck in menial roles with trivial responsibilities.

Mental Health and Personal Trauma Projection

Bullies are often individuals with unresolved personal issues stemming from their upbringing and family problems. They project their own negative life experiences onto others with less authority as a way to boost their own self-esteem. For instance, if a woman spreads rumours about another woman's marital life, it's likely that the bully is grappling with a similar crisis.

Manipulation and Instigation

Female bullies, often untrained professionals who have gained power through means other than merit, use abusive tendencies to provoke others into spreading or supporting their own rumours for personal validation.

Criticism and Micromanagement

Women bullies may excessively criticise and micromanage their female colleagues, creating a hostile work environment.

Cyberbullying

With the rise of digital communication, some women may resort to cyberbullying through emails, instant messaging, or social media platforms. Abusive comments and gender-biassed slurs are commonly used, particularly in Bangladesh.

The list of bullying tactics and reasons is extensive, but solutions must be sought. Addressing a female bully at work requires a thoughtful and proactive approach that upholds professionalism while dealing with the issue.

Here are some steps that can be considered:

Stay Calm and Objective

It's essential to remain composed and rational when dealing with a bully. Don't let their actions or words provoke an emotional response. Try to understand the situation objectively. Bullies often become disoriented when the victim doesn't react emotionally, as they don't understand the concept of kindness.

Document Incidents

Keeping a record of bullying incidents is crucial, noting dates, times, locations, and details. This documentation will be valuable if the issue needs to be escalated. If not, it will help the recipient identify common bullying points and strategically avoid them in the future.

Talk Privately

If it's safe to do so, consider having a private conversation with the bully. Sometimes, individuals may not be aware of the impact of their behaviour. During the conversation, the speaker should remain assertive, express logical concerns, and request a change in behaviour.

Be Ready to Face Consequences

If the bully is inherently resistant to change, which is often the case, they may retaliate against the victim if the private conversation doesn't go well. Mentally preparing for this possibility and documenting the conversation accordingly are measures to take for protection.

Set Boundaries

Make it clear that, as a professional, you won't tolerate any form of bullying or harassment. Politely but firmly assert the right to be treated with respect and dignity.

Involve a Neutral Third Party

If addressing the bully directly isn't effective or feasible, consider involving a supervisor, manager, or human resources representative. It's important to choose someone unbiased who can handle the situation discreetly. However, in many cases, HR or supervisors may not address the issue unless it escalates to physical abuse.

Seek Support from Colleagues

Talking to trusted colleagues about the issue can be beneficial. They might have experienced similar behaviour or witnessed the bullying, and their support can help manage the situation.

Use Company Policies

Familiarise yourself with the company's policies on workplace harassment and bullying. These policies are designed to protect employees and can guide the resolution process.

Seek Mediation

If the workplace offers mediation services, consider using them to address the conflict with the bully in a structured and controlled environment.

Maintain Professionalism

Throughout the process, maintaining a high level of professionalism is crucial. It's important to avoid gossiping about the bully or speaking negatively about them to others, as this can escalate the situation and reflect poorly on the victim.

Consider Seeking External Help

If the situation remains unresolved or escalates further, seeking guidance from an employment attorney or an external agency, such as a human rights organisation or corporate lawyer, may be necessary.

Remember, bullying often stems from insecurity and can be countered with confidence. It's important to note that bullying behaviour isn't limited to any specific gender; both men and women can exhibit these behaviours. The reasons behind women bullying other women at work can be complex, arising from competition, insecurity, power dynamics, or a desire for control. In many cases, it can also be linked to mental health issues faced by women, which can be addressed with professional support. 

Addressing workplace bullying requires a comprehensive approach from employers, including clear anti-bullying policies, fostering a positive and respectful work culture, providing conflict resolution training, and providing support to employees who experience or witness bullying. For survival, it is also crucial to remember that bullying is never about you but always about them. 

Raisa Adiba is a development worker who enjoys writing as a hobby, among many other things.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and views of The Business Standard.