To break or mend hearts? Speed Dating 101

"Wish me luck, guys! I'm going on a date," I said, waving goodbye to my colleagues as I headed towards an experience I never thought I'd find myself in. Amid the daily chaos of Dhaka, the quest for a bit of amusement never loses its charm.

'Speed Dating'— a matchmaking process through quick dates is a relatively unknown concept to our youth. The only exposure any of us have had to the concept of Speed Dating is through YouTube shows like 'Sidemen' and 'The Button' where dates are limited to mere minutes, making the first impressions even more meaningful. 

And given that Speed Dating was a new kind of event for all of us, the event began on a shaky note. 

Although the host did his best to make everyone comfortable with jokes and stories, the crowd was initially hard to win over, hence the need for ice-breakers. 

 'Is it a Green Flag or Red Flag?' was one of the first few games we participated in to help ourselves ease into the experience, offering a first glimpse at each person in the room.

As red cards flew up for traits like 'Judging people based solely on their horoscope,' and green cards for 'Ghosting is bad,' the crowd began to loosen up. Drawing our worst date experiences turned out to be a fun, lighthearted way to warm up before the actual 'game' began.

The people in the room would only know each other by their assigned numbers, not their names. This was one of the many rules the hosts put in place to protect the attendants. Other rules such as the strict no-photography policy and the emphasis on respecting boundaries helped put the attendants at ease. 

In a way, they set up the stage with the perfect balance of anonymity we get through online apps and the genuine nature of face-to-face conversations. This became clear as I sat down for my first out of seven ten-minute speed rounds.

"So, how was your day?" I asked awkwardly. Thankfully the initial discomfort melted within seconds as he turned out to be quite the talker, and discovering things we had in common made the conversation even easier.

It goes without saying that I had my reservations about how the seven rounds would go. But I was pleasantly proved wrong as the six "dates" (and one repeat) went smoothly, thanks to the organiser's vetting process during the application rounds. And in the unlikely situation had I felt uncomfortable at any point, I had my red flag with me to wave as a signal for the bouncer to intervene. 

The system truly cultivated genuine connections between people. Every time the bell rang, we shared the same look of surprise— "Already?" 

It was like an extrovert's playground! The introverts weren't left out; they were given conversation prompts to help get the ball rolling if needed.

Between rounds where both boys and girls had opportunities to choose their partners, there was a lively game of 'Never Have I Ever' as jazz music played softly in the background. Everyone was more comfortable by this point, and laughter filled the space as we all grew a little more acquainted.

The Attention Network hosted its first Speed Dating event in Dhaka's Kawran Bazar on 4 November. Despite social media trolling and their page being taken down for over a day, the event went on as planned. Picture 20 strangers gathered in one room—what could follow but pure awkwardness, right? Surprisingly, the aftermath was far more enjoyable and genuine than I had anticipated.

We have been so deprived of getting to know a person without first looking at their air-burshed version online so this was a much needed change of scenario. People are more than the pretty photos they upload, and this event acted as a good reminder. 

Credit goes to the team that organised the event with ease, creating a safe and comfortable environment for everyone involved. The thoughtful structure and well-chosen ice-breakers truly worked in their favour.

Should Dhaka embrace more in-person matchmaking events instead of endless swiping on Bumble to foster genuine connections? Absolutely. 
But does it guarantee you'll find love? Who can say? As for me, I'm married—but good luck to those still on the journey!