Republicans consider Shahbagh blockade to protest Trump assassination attempt
This article is a work of satire
The US Republican Party is mulling choosing Shahbagh as a venue for their planned protest over the assassination attempt on Donald Trump earlier today.
Ken Smith, one of the party's coordinators, said Shahbagh was possibly the best destination for holding such a protest.
"We have noticed that no matter what happens, people always gather in Shahbagh to protest the matter. It can happen in any corner of the world or the country, but Shahbagh is the best venue to stage protests," he said.
Asked what made Shahbagh such a good venue, he said it was quite spacious.
"Plus you can also block the traffic on it. If the police are irked, they mainly baton-charge or fire tear gas. As democracy lovers, we are totally used to that in our country. I think Shahbagh itself is a monument to democracy so of course we want to hold our protests here."
Karen Welch, a Republican by birth apparently, also backed Shahbagh.
"I hear the cops here don't shoot people as frequently. Plus, bearing arms isn't like a right. We see how every year the same gangsters surrender their arms here, so we think Shahbagh is a really safe space for us to vent our frustrations," she said.
"Plus, it's the venue that made capital punishment cool! How can we go wrong with it," she said.
Some have also pointed out that even the Ambani's had considered Shahbagh as their venue but baulked at the prices they would have to pay.
"It would cost less to buy the next four years' civil exam papers," a member of the Ambani family was quoted as saying.
Earlier today, former President Donald Trump was shot in the ear Saturday evening while speaking onstage at his rally in Butler, Pennsylvania, in an incident that's being investigated as an assassination attempt from a shooter on a roof near the rally site.
Trump was in the middle of delivering his rally speech – turned toward the right with his hands on his lectern – when the sound of multiple gunshots suddenly rang out.
Shahbagh has been the epicentre of numerous protests over the years.
The protests have attracted tens of thousands of people, including students, activists, and members of civil society.
The protests have included demonstrations against government policies, demands for justice in high-profile cases, and calls for social and political reforms.
However, a precise count of the total number of protests held at Shahbagh over the years is difficult to determine due to the frequency and diversity of these events.